Yes, I've realised my creativity feeds off bad experiences.
But this week I've been a whole new me. I've been positive, I've taken bad experiences in my stride (locked myself out of house AGAIN! hubby has been out of town so it's been full on with Conan, and left my phone at home all day on Thursday when was due to meet people in the evening) - I mean I know these are not bad bad, in the context of life, but they're the kind of incidents that would bring out my twitchy narky side. But no, I've felt busy, productive, the sun's been a-shining. I've been hanging with my boy down the park and it's all been good.
But sadly, dear blog, it means I've not felt inclined to write a post.
Why so?
Well, I'm not going to flatter myself, oh go on, maybe I will. But they say most comic geniuses are depressives (have you seen that movie Festival about the Edinburgh Fringe Festival - seriously depressing).. hahahha. BUt there's certainly something to be said for laughing at misfortune. I mean nobody made a joke about a beautiful sunny day, or the sound of children laughing without turning it, if not dark, at least a little dusky. Does this mean if I'm going to write when I'm feeling happy (and I agree it doesn't have to be funny or lighthearted) will it have to be serious, earnest prose? Gee.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
the lightness of being
It was one of those days yesterday.
Well I say that, but in fact it wasn't one of those days. It could have been.
Usually when I leave the house in the morning to walk the dog, I do the checklist: Wallet, dog bags, ball, treats, keys.
But for some reason I only got to treats... So I was there in my dog bag looking for the keys, no keys.. Maybe I left the backdoor open - no, I remember locking that. Maybe there's a window. No.
For some reason, instead of going into a fizzing panic (as I'd usually do) I felt like an ocean-swimming breaststroker. Long and steady strokes, gliding smoothly through the waves. I calmly picked up the phone to call hubby, but he didn't answer. So instead of leaving a flustered 'call me NOW!' message, I laughed on the phone, said 'oops' or something to that effect and continued walking the dog.
I mean what else could I do.
Though usually when people, faced with challenges, shrug, laugh and tell me 'well, there's nothing I could do' I'm usually skeptical. I tend to think 'who really believes that? Who really feels calm, positively resigned when forced to have their day sent into chaos'
I wonder if it's a control thing. Because I tend to get my knickers into reef knot over this kind of thing usually. So I called hubby and he (sensibly) suggested I call the real estate agent, which I did. And bless them (usually I'm spiking up like an angry hedgehog even thinking about speaking to the estate agent... samskaras, eh) but they were so nice. They laughed, they said 'ah, that must have been a good start to the day for you. Come along and pick them up.' And there we were, chuckling together over my misfortune.
I mean, it took a few hours to sort it (lashing rain, ordering a $17 cab etc) but I just kept on swimming my calm breaststroke
You see, when you try and see the lightness in life, it all falls into place.
Well I say that, but in fact it wasn't one of those days. It could have been.
Usually when I leave the house in the morning to walk the dog, I do the checklist: Wallet, dog bags, ball, treats, keys.
But for some reason I only got to treats... So I was there in my dog bag looking for the keys, no keys.. Maybe I left the backdoor open - no, I remember locking that. Maybe there's a window. No.
For some reason, instead of going into a fizzing panic (as I'd usually do) I felt like an ocean-swimming breaststroker. Long and steady strokes, gliding smoothly through the waves. I calmly picked up the phone to call hubby, but he didn't answer. So instead of leaving a flustered 'call me NOW!' message, I laughed on the phone, said 'oops' or something to that effect and continued walking the dog.
I mean what else could I do.
Though usually when people, faced with challenges, shrug, laugh and tell me 'well, there's nothing I could do' I'm usually skeptical. I tend to think 'who really believes that? Who really feels calm, positively resigned when forced to have their day sent into chaos'
I wonder if it's a control thing. Because I tend to get my knickers into reef knot over this kind of thing usually. So I called hubby and he (sensibly) suggested I call the real estate agent, which I did. And bless them (usually I'm spiking up like an angry hedgehog even thinking about speaking to the estate agent... samskaras, eh) but they were so nice. They laughed, they said 'ah, that must have been a good start to the day for you. Come along and pick them up.' And there we were, chuckling together over my misfortune.
I mean, it took a few hours to sort it (lashing rain, ordering a $17 cab etc) but I just kept on swimming my calm breaststroke
You see, when you try and see the lightness in life, it all falls into place.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Dealing with disappointment
It's not easy being disappointed is it? Especially when you're disappointed over something which you can't really blame anyone for (blame = negative emotion anyway so should not be doing 'blame') but at least with blame you can feel somewhat vindicated. That loser messed things up for me. Or I blame myself, which kind of makes the sting a little less stingy.
But in this instance there's nobody to blame - not even myself.
I was planning on going to Mysore to study at the Ashtanga Yoga Research institute. THE place to study my yoga in India. It's one of those 'must do' pilgrimages of the ashtangi and I was perfectly poised and ready to go in March (you need to give four months notice of your intended stay). Except that I logged onto the site today and they said, 'SHALA FULL' - so literally if I wanted to go 1st of March I should have sent them an email on 1st November.... what's the date today.. 9th November. I was 9 days too late.
The thing is I guess i was hoping to 'do' this before I get too old, start having babies, whatever. The timing was perfect, but I guess these things are here to teach us that life doesn't always go according to the little plan one cooks up in one's little head.
In some ways it's quite liberating when the ball doesn't bounce where you're expecting (my head is packed full of doggy metaphors these days so bear with me) - it shakes things up and forces you to try other things, make quicker decisions, throw yourself into another path.
I've realised I don't deal with disappointment very well so this is maybe my chance to learn from it.
But in this instance there's nobody to blame - not even myself.
I was planning on going to Mysore to study at the Ashtanga Yoga Research institute. THE place to study my yoga in India. It's one of those 'must do' pilgrimages of the ashtangi and I was perfectly poised and ready to go in March (you need to give four months notice of your intended stay). Except that I logged onto the site today and they said, 'SHALA FULL' - so literally if I wanted to go 1st of March I should have sent them an email on 1st November.... what's the date today.. 9th November. I was 9 days too late.
The thing is I guess i was hoping to 'do' this before I get too old, start having babies, whatever. The timing was perfect, but I guess these things are here to teach us that life doesn't always go according to the little plan one cooks up in one's little head.
In some ways it's quite liberating when the ball doesn't bounce where you're expecting (my head is packed full of doggy metaphors these days so bear with me) - it shakes things up and forces you to try other things, make quicker decisions, throw yourself into another path.
I've realised I don't deal with disappointment very well so this is maybe my chance to learn from it.
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