After the most perfect few days with my little monkey, Conan, I'm starting to feel my patience fray (or rather shred) like an old towel.
"Conan, down boy, get off the towel!"
I mean you read all these books, you speak to people in pet shops, vets, pet trainers and they tell you: if he's bad you ignore him or correct him with a simple 'ah ah' and then finally you confine him. If he's good you shower him with praise.
This would be a typical 1 minute in the life of.
I'm sitting at the computer in the kitchen. Conan comes staight over and sits on my feet, all big puppy dog eyes. "Good boy" i say... then, excitement mounting he attempts to jump up "uh uh" i say, and down he gets: "Good boy." I walk to the fridge, he's tags my ankles as I walk then he's is in the fridge with me. "uh uh". no response. "Uh uh" I say again. Still no response "Uh..." and he walks away. "Good boy" I say then he starts to crouch slightly as if about to pee "Uh!" I say louder and usher him outside leading him to his toilet pad. Nothing doing. Then he's chewing the plant outside. "Uh uh" nothing. I throw a ball around. He chases it. "Good boy." I ask him to come. He runs the ball inside, chasing past my legs and into the lounge, just as I get there he's chewing the rug. "UH UH" nothing. I decide to ignore him and go back to the kitchen. He follows after me. I say 'sit' he sits. Good boy I stroke him and get him excited, he's licking my face. I'm back at the computer, he runs towards the lounge again. I try to stop him by shutting the door. His head is almost jammed (though of course it's not) "uh uh" - no response.
Okay, that's probably the minute up.
Thank goodness for these pizzles (pig's penises) he writhes in an aphrodisiac fuelled ecstasy. Rolling on his side, his back, covering himself with the scent of the pizzle - who knows what these things contain, but they sure do work... Long enough for me to write this post.
It's so much fun. But it's also so tiring. I feel he's learning more and more, as I am, by the day; but the more he absorbs of this new life, the more he learns how to work me out. I need infinite patience; i need to learn to marvel at the minutiae. We made some progress today. 2 x pees outside. This is good. I need to remember to enjoy the journey as he is.
|A rare moment of calm|