Monday, September 27, 2010

Slippery fish: An outpouring on loss of perspective

All this stuff I'm meant to learn from my yoga just seems to slip away when I'm faced with real life challenges.

It's all well and good applying things in a nice, easy and controlled environment, but now I'm faced with a reality. In this instance I'm stuck inside when the sun is shining like it's been held hostage in dark cave and has now finally been released. It's beautiful out there. But in the name of good mothering I'm here, with my little Conan who is more restless than a toddler on Coke (Coca Cola... please!), with the attention span of a hyperactive goldfish.

And I'm questioning everything.

Was this puppy a good idea?

Can I cope with this new life?

I'm trying to live in the moment. I'm trying to enjoy the journey and find endless fascination in his every move whilst keeping a good degree of apathy and aloofness so he's not mollycoddled.

But it's consuming my every thought.

I need to get some perspective.

I was supposed to  teach my corporate class this morning (we usually meet on Wednesday mornings but they needed to change this week.) It was in my calendar but I'd forgotten to set an alert so i blissfully slept through this morning until I got a call at 8am from the girl there. It immediately dawned on me. Shit. "I'm so sorry, so so so sorry" a torrent of apologies and excuses poured forth. Of course she was fine about it, but it made me realise my head is firmly not in the moment at the moment.

I had forgotten about the importance of concentration. Right now my mind skates and slides around like a slippery fish between your fingers. I've lost all sense of perspective.

I know it's a bit of a downer this one. Hey, I find it hard to write when everything is blissfully happy, perhaps this blog is my release. Who knows.

Perhaps here is where i find my perspective.

I'd love to do some yoga right now. It's really been helping me lately to manage the chaos of thoughts and doubts.

It's all about the boy. But what about everything else....?


  1. Hello sweetie, and congratulations on the new baby!! He's adorable. Also, there's an award for you in my blog:

  2. Hello my love! Thank you - yes, we're delighted with the new arrival!!
    An award.... wow! What does this mean? Wish I could speak better Finnish! Very kind of you - you're a yoga hippy for sure girl!