Monday, July 19, 2010

My true nature - frustrated

I'm sorry blog, I've been a little absent of late but finally, after days of frustration I've uninstalled my vodafone connection and installed my hubby's Optus one from work. Not a good long term solution but will do for now. I know I talk a lot of my techmares but honestly, when you work from home and there's no tech guy at work who you can call when your computer snarls error messages at you, the only people you can take your frustration out on are: 

a) Tech guys at Vodafone - I am probably blacklisted there now. The polite approach was getting me nowhere. The angry psychotic approach has had limited effect as well, admittedly. Wilting sarcasm just made me feel bad..... But should I be satisfied after 10 days of receiving no call/ no support to be told someone will call in 72 hrs. Being pretty below average at maths I (slowly) worked out that was 3 whole days! Well say three days you cowards, why dress it up in finery by calling it hours! I can't manage three days without internet at home, it's like being told you can't have running water at home for three days. Or rather that you might get a call about your lack of running water in three days. Awesome.(And to that I add the clause that I know I'm very lucky to live in a Western society where this is something that people would be feasibly outraged by..)


b) Your nine blog readers. Thanks guys.

c) Hubby - but he's overseas again :(

Feel better now. I've vented.

But why does venting help? It's not very yoga I know. In fact it's totally un-yoga because we are meant to  be detached, observing, accepting what happens. But then Matthew Sweeney says in his book Ashtanga Yoga As it Is, that if we try and modify or challenge our natural tendency then we're living an illusion:

"True change is made possible when you are in contact with what is, when you realise what you are. It does not occur when you try to become something you are not. This is delusion. With the latter, there can only be a constant war between the desire for what you should be and what you are. This is one of the most troubling truths that most yoga practitioners have to deal with. No amount of asana or pranayama or meditation practice will make you a better person or hasten your development. Nothing will. For there is nothing better than being what you are right now.... Awareness is the only key ingredient."  (pg 28 Astanga Yoga As it Is)

So in this case, bitter sarcasm and blood bubbling frustration is my true nature. At least I'm aware of it I guess,

Feel like I'm thinking myself into a yoga corner again...! Help!

1 comment:

  1. Ummmmmm, yes and no. Awareness is the key to (self)-acceptance, I guess