When you end a sentence with a but, it looks unfinished, careless but I must admit I found the writing of it really quite satisfying.
I guess I do feel a little unfinished today.
After the dramas with my Vodafone connection these last few days (having no internet at home since Friday) I went into a bit of a spin; like a little beating heart without any blood to pump.
And now, after the pause, I've lost my momentum and I don't really know where to start.
Here's what I've got to do:
- Sort out my Australian driver's license now that I'm officially a resident
- Plan a couple of new yoga classes for Friday
- Fix my broken vacuum cleaner or take back to shop
- Book some flights to Germany from London in August
- Sell my (aherm) second wedding dress on Ebay (I was married in April 2009)
- Research the blogging market, and find out how to be a better blogger
- Read Donna Fahri's classic, Yoga Body Mind and Spirit
I was hoping in writing this list it would help me to work out my priorities, but.
I still don't know.
I remember a phrase from a fantastic book by Steve Toltz called Fraction of the Whole; the main character, Martin, was a bit of a procrastinator - clearly a genius but with so many random thought fragments, he 'philosophised himself into a corner'. I feel like I'm there except I've 'tasked myself into a corner' - not quite as grand but it's still a corner. It's dark, a little sticky and there's a miscellaneous collection of hairs and spots of dirt. I'm looking again and there's nothing truly pressing on that list. Nothing that can't wait. In fact the only deadline there is yoga classes which need planning. For FRIDAY! I mean, I wrote my entire dissertation in the same amount of time as I've got. This is not pressure. I'm a white knuckle deadline girl. At Uni when we had to hand in our essays I was the one (or one of the ones) who was haring through the campus trying to find the printer with the shortest queues so I could just get the coursework in on time. And I made it. Oh yes, my heart was practically thumping out of my chest and I had a roaring stress headache, but I made it.
I'm discovering that it's hard to be self motivated. Really hard. I need to remember my yogic discipline. Whatever happens, roll out the mat. Just do something.